Where are you to hide
by JavaJunkie14
Summary: He's content with never truly belonging anywhere again, as long as he has someone to belong to. -Apocalypse AU-


**Introduction:** Hey everyone! This is a short, zombie/apocalyptic one-shot thingy that was written for my friend Nia. It was posted over on Archive of Our Own this past December but I figured I'd post it here as well :)

_Just a few things: _

*It is enormously inspired by the Walking Dead so if you're familiar with the game, comic, or tv show it might make a bit more sense.

*A katana is long, japanese sword.

*It may help to be looking at a map of Japan if you're not that familiar with it's layout while reading the story. Trust me on this one!

Enjoy!

* * *

It creeps up on them as it does for everyone else. There isn't really a warning or a build-up to catastrophe that makes it feel _real_. So they try to ignore it for as long as they physically can.

But when students begin missing lessons and lab work is soon abandoned, it's difficult to set aside in their minds. Soon, the university is left wide open and people far too old and young are seen wandering the halls. It makes Souichi irrationally angry when he appears one day to three of his cultures smashed upon the wall. Tetsuhiro has to beg him to remain in their apartment.

Newspapers stop appearing. The television refuses to show any moving pictures or sound. The phone lines are cut just as Souichi gets through to his brother. They both wonder if it could have even reached America, if it had started there, how many are left. But at the same time, they're not sure what answer would bring any comfort.

The power shuts down just as the deathly quiet streets erupt in chaos. There are constant screams, groans, and noises neither want to even begin to identify. Tetsuhiro opens the door one day to find the man that lives below them gurgling blood on their mat. He shuts it quickly, hating himself as the pleas echo through the door and throughout the day.

Souichi doesn't sleep for what seems like weeks on end. Their food consists of cans that had been haphazardly stuffed in the back of the cabinet as soon as Tetsuhiro had gotten wind of the impending doom.

It has been about two weeks when their last can of beans disappeared down their throats.

A knowing stare passes between them, Souichi kicks at the couch and Tetsuhiro sighs. They know it's time to move on.

"Where did you even get that thing?" Souichi whispers beside him, gesturing quickly to the katana he holds too tightly. Tetsuhiro shrugs, mentally calculating how far they have to run before they'd be behind the corner store building and out of sight once more.

He shifts nervously. They haven't been outside their apartment for this long before and he itches to check his back every few moments. He swears they are being watched, it's too damn quiet for them not to be. "Family heirloom. Not sure they meant it to be used this way but better time than any heh?"

Souichi doesn't appear amused and looks to be judging the distance as well, eyes flicking around.

"Ready?" Souichi asks in a low voice. Tetsuhiro fixes him with as encouraging a smile as he can manage. He nods.

So they run.

And when they reach cover, both are completely out of breath but too relieved to be embarrassed by how unfit their bodies have become. For a few glorious moments it is only the sound of their harsh breathing that fills their ears.

But as they turn to smile at one another in joint relief, the distinct sound of a garbage can being tipped over makes them jump. A pale body crawls alongside it towards them, its deadened eyes halting their victory.

"Senpai…" Tetsuhiro squeaks out, clutching Souichi's upper arm in silent need. Souichi looks as stunned and frightened as he feels, for once his mask betraying him. But then they're moving again, out in the open, and he's not sure where Souichi is leading them but it's better than waiting to be bitten.

Anything is.

Sometime during their sprint, Tetsuhiro slips his hand into Souichi's.

The lack of food and scarce water in their systems forces them to slow, dots appear before their eyes, and their lungs greedily gasp for air. As they slow to a stop in the front yard of a blue and white house, Tetsuhiro vomits.

Souichi waits for him patiently, or perhaps he's just too exhausted to move. Their previous plan didn't work and Tetsuhiro can practically feel the waves of disappointment coming from his partner.

"You okay to keep going?" Souichi asks and wordlessly picks up the sword that Tetsuhiro had thrown to the ground.

He wants to nod but is afraid he'll be sick so he gets to his feet instead. Souichi is watching the window of the house. There is a shot gun pointed at them. Tetsuhiro allows Souichi to pull him away even if the pace makes his body weak and nauseous.

* * *

They visit Matsuda's house to find it's been stripped clean. Matsuda and Kanako are both gone.

Tetsuhiro briefly thinks about his own family. He hopes his brother is alright but couldn't care less if his parents house looked like this. Empty and hollow.

Souichi doesn't speak for three days.

* * *

Looters, they discover, are particularly dangerous at night.

They stick close to larger neighborhoods where the houses are mostly ransacked and near the forest if cover is needed. It isn't the best situation, endless roaming and moving, but it's better than being bitten in your sleep or worse.

A family of four, parents and twin girls, share a meal with them one night. Souichi eyes them suspiciously, keeping his backpack with their supplies close at all times, but seems as desperate for human interaction as Tetsuhiro is. If anything, that worries him.

They had fled Tokyo before the fires began; the city was alight within a few days, incinerated beyond recognition. The cities, they insisted, were where the dead bumped into one another in the crowded streets. The twin with the lighter hair agrees quietly, murmuring to avoid them if they could.

Tetsuhiro thanks and assures them they are quite happy where they are and the family sticks close to their sleeping spot that night. The father takes first watch. If Souichi settles a bit closer to him during the night, Tetsuhiro doesn't mention it.

But a few days pass and the family is planning to move on, claiming they heard screaming at some time during the night. Tetsuhiro hugs the mother and shakes hands with the father, wrapping his green scarf around one of the twin's necks before they too disappear.

"Good riddance," Souichi grumbles at their backs. Tetsuhiro shakes his head, smiling tenderly, and brushes a hand along Souichi's shoulders before stamping out their campfire.

That night, Tetsuhiro hears the screams too. They are distinctly female and a chill settles into his chest.

They travel less than a mile before they find the family, strung up by their necks on a dying oak tree. The twin with the lighter hair is unrecognizable, the father stripped of his clothing, the mother missing most of her hair. Souichi promptly throws up his breakfast into a nearby bush.

It isn't something that Tetsuhiro is ever going to be used to, seeing death. He wakes for what must be the fifth time that night to the twin's opened blue eyes, empty and lifeless. He cries and doesn't stop, not even when he feels a hesitant hand on his back.

The following morning, Souichi hands him the green scarf. He uses it to conceal his face so the tear tracks aren't as visible.

* * *

After about an hour of calculations and arguments, they estimate it has been about a month of this _wandering_. Granted they only move when there's a real threat or the area is completely drained of resources, but it turns out to be a pretty unsatisfying existence.

It's frightening to think they will never truly belong anywhere again.

He tells Souichi as much one day as they gather berries in some bowls they'd come across a week earlier.

Souichi doesn't respond with his usual snark. In fact, he fails to respond at all and continues to pick at the bush. So Tetsuhiro shuts his mouth against the words pushing to leave. He doesn't want to upset Souichi, not when his partner could wake up one day and realize he can leave whenever he wants. They don't have any obligation to one another anymore.

Tetsuhiro builds up the fire with a stack of papers they had found in a dental office and watches dully as the flames lick upwards. Souichi bends down to join him and just stares. Tetsuhiro finds it unnerving to have those eyes so fixated on him, self conscious and naked.

"I'm not going to leave ya know. That's what you're worried about isn't it?" Souichi says, ever surprising. Tetsuhiro can feel hot tears behind his eyelids and nods just slightly.

Souichi rolls his eyes and scoots closer so their arms touch. "Don't think so much idiot. Where else would I go?"

It's such a _Souichi_ thing to say that Tetsuhiro allows one of two tears to roll down his cheeks. He finds he's missed the bluntness of his partner, the dark humor that had always threatened to shine through. Souichi doesn't object when Tetsuhiro slides an arm around his waist where they sit and presses a kiss to the blonde hair.

If he never belongs anywhere again, he muses as Souichi drops off with his nose pressed into his neck, at least he'll have someone to belong to.

* * *

It's a virus, or so the tall, blonde stranger informs them. Souichi is tired and hungry and sick of listening to…whatever his name is, go on and on about how he saw this coming. How he'd been smart enough to stock up on supplies and avoid the bite.

It could only be stopped by a blow to the skull and destroying the brain. Tetsuhiro grimaces as he describes in far too much detail his most recent killing. How he'd been forced to shoot one of his best friends in the skull as he turned.

It makes them both queasy.

"Takes about two days to really settle in. First it's the bite, then the fever. Shakes and the sweats, ya know, the works. The skin gets real pale and begins to peel. Disgusting. After that, well, it's the eyes that really give it away. They go sorta…grey, if that makes any sense. Just dead, I guess. If ya ask me, the dead should stay dead. Did you know they damn near burned down Tokyo to get rid of the bodies? World's gone to pot."

The man helps himself to more of their pitiful stew and Souichi glares daggers at the side of Tetsuhiro's head. He winces and regrets offering to share their food. Souichi was right, they couldn't save everyone.

"Rumor is that down south, somewhere near Nagasaki, there's a community. Safe haven sorta deal. Met a couple who were heading there a few weeks back, said a friend of theirs was actually cured of the bite. Might be bullshit, probably is, but it's better than hanging around eating shit like this."

Tetsuhiro has to physically restrain Souichi as he jumps up and shouts abuse after abuse at until the man flees in terror, but he makes sure to store the information away.

When Souichi quiets down he asks if perhaps they should make their way down south too.

"Fine. But if we meet that asshole again, I'll _find_ some dead and push him in their direction."

All things considered, it's a pretty optimistic response.

* * *

Tetsuhiro struggles to remember what color their living room used to be as they settle into the third abandoned house they've come across.

But this one, lo and behold, has furniture. A real couch and cushions, chairs and bookcases filled with nic nacs. Souichi faintly smiles for the first time in what seems like forever and dives immediately into one of the books. It's one he's read before but he doesn't care. Words on a page have never looked sweeter.

Tetsuhiro leaves him downstairs and ventures upwards, opening the door to a bathroom that won't be of much use without running water but it looks untouched. He finds enough medical supplies to last them a good few months.

The next door proves, if possible, even more uplifting and he calls for Souichi in his excitement. Souichi pounds up the stairs and they both look eagerly to the queen sized bed, the mauve covers made up and spotless. Tetsuhiro thinks back to their separate, small rags they would use for blankets at night and grins at his companion.

Souichi returns it for a moment before punching his shoulder softly and descending the stairs once again.

Tetsuhiro knows he has to prepare a meal, his stomach grumbles in protest with how long it's been, but he approaches the bed and falls face first onto it. It feels glorious and there's the faint smell of detergent still lingering in the blanket.

If he closes his eyes he can already feel Souichi beside him, a warm mass of body, curled tightly together. Not for the first time since this began, he feels the tendrils of want in his lower belly. It has been far too long, far too much of a risk. Perhaps Souichi would be feeling generous tonight.

* * *

But the food is running dangerously low and the house is completely empty of anything edible. He hates when it comes to this.

"I'm faster just let me, it's my turn!" Souichi complains loudly, making a grab for the weapon on the coffee table. Tetsuhiro snatches it up quickly and holds it behind his back.

"What if you get hurt? I couldn't…Senpai please just…you have to see it from my point of view." Tetsuhiro is pleading of course, it always ends up this way. He'd prefer if they could go together to search for food but they would risk losing this rare gem of a house.

"What the fuck…what point of view?" Souichi demands angrily.

"You don't know what it would do to me if you…if you got hurt or worse." Tetsuhiro doesn't like when his voice cracks just so. He's forever appearing vulnerable and ridiculous in front of the love of his life. But Souichi doesn't look spitting mad anymore, if anything he looks disappointed.

"So…you think if you…if something happened to you..." Tetsuhiro whips his head up and watches as Souichi scowls. "Fuck you."

He turns on his heel and slams the front door shut. When Tetsuhiro can move, he realizes Souichi didn't take the katana.

His first instinct is to follow and make sure he's alright. But Souichi isn't stupid and knows to stick close to where they are resting for the night. Tetsuhiro slumps onto the couch, resting the sword on the coffee table. Perhaps it's best to let Souichi blow off some steam.

He allows himself a short nap.

But when he wakes the room is almost devoid of light and he scrambles to find one of the candles in his backpack. He lights them quickly and calls for Souichi with no answer. His throat closes and he's filled with sickening dread.

Just as he pulls on his thin coat to follow, cold metal is pressed to the back of his head.

"Don't move." Tetsuhiro chokes and does as he is told, dropping the green scarf. The man as the voice presumes, presses harder and whispers harshly in his ear. Tetsuhiro can't remember locking the front door.

"Give me what you got. No sudden movements or I'll blow your fucking brains out."

Through the racing in his ears, Tetsuhiro manages to point a shaky finger towards his backpack near the entrance.

"Everything…all I have is in there." He says, praying to any god that may listen for Souichi to stay away. The man grunts in affirmation and chuckles a little beside him.

"The fuck is that? You're using _that_ as a weapon? It's a wonder you're not dead yet."

There's the scratch of metal to his left and Tetsuhiro grits his teeth as the man wields the sword, testing it a few times by whipping it back and forth. Tetsuhiro flinches as it comes too close to one of his ears.

"Scared? Wonder how sharp it is." The man says and gives no warning before Tetsuhiro's knees buckle underneath him and he collapses to the ground. There's a deep slash down his back now, blood seeping into his shirt and coat. He registers the sword being thrown aside and the man stepping over him towards the backpack.

Tetsuhiro's eyes keep going in and out of focus, his back is on fire and he's sweating profusely. He doesn't want to die like this. He hopes Souichi doesn't have to find his corpse a bloodied mess.

There's a shout somewhere above him and a thud and familiar brown eyes cloud his vision before he falls into unconsciousness.

* * *

It takes a week for his back to heal well enough to be able to walk more than downstairs without needing a rest. Souichi doesn't lecture him, doesn't chide him or push. He dutifully presses cream to his wound and wraps it twice a day, cleaning the bandages himself.

When Souichi falls asleep in his chair with his head resting on the bed, Tetsuhiro leans over from where he lies on his stomach and kisses his nose. Souichi's eyes open and after a moment, tilts his face upwards. Tetsuhiro covers his surprise by connecting their lips. It's the best he's felt in a long time.

* * *

"I'd feel the same you know."

Tetsuhiro looks up from his novel, back elevated by cushions and pillows where he lies on the couch, and searches Souichi's face.

Souichi hands him a mug of boiling water, a few lemon leaves floating on the surface for flavor.

"If something happened to you. I'd feel the same."

Tetsuhiro doesn't get a chance to respond, Souichi is already out the door. He returns to his book with a smile on his lips and affection nesting in his heart.

* * *

The scar looks hideous in the mirror as he spins around in the bathroom but he supposes it's a small price to pay. He's seen people missing limbs and eyes, fingers that have been severed off. He got off pretty easily, considering.

Tetsuhiro finishes 'washing' himself, setting the damp towel aside and wandering back into the bedroom in just his pants. He freezes when he realizes he isn't alone and steps backwards as a shadowed figure approaches.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Souichi says, sounding amused. Tetsuhiro is glad for the darkness as his blush fades.

"Sorry I…did you need the bathroom?"

Souichi hesitates but eventually nods and Tetsuhiro moves towards the bed, snuggling under the covers. He drifts between sleep and the pale darkness to the sounds of Souichi rustling things around in the nearby room.

The bathroom door opens and shuts and footsteps pad towards the hallway. But the door never opens and Tetsuhiro opens his eyes blearily.

"Senpai? Is something wrong?"

Tetsuhiro can't see in the dark but he can hear the shifting of feet and he sits up on his elbows. Souichi is silhouetted by the moonlight against the door, staring at the floor.

"We should leave tomorrow. Towards Nagasaki like we planned. Your back is better and I keep having to go farther and farther for food. I mean having the gun that idiot was carrying helps but it's only got three bullets left and this house is great but…" Souichi trails off and Tetsuhiro nods in agreement even though he can't see it.

"You're right, it's best to keep moving. We can leave at daybreak if you want."

There's a shred of silence and then the door opens. Tetsuhiro hesitates for a fraction of a second before calling to Souichi who then turns towards him.

"Would you…I mean, do you want to sleep up here?" He suggests. "With me." Tetsuhiro is aware Souichi will insist on sleeping on the couch what with Tetsuhiro still recovering but he hopes...

The silence stretches and he figures Souichi is glaring at him. He almost flinches when there's the dip of a body on the other side of the bed and the rustle of sheets.

"Keep your hands to yourself." Souichi grumbles and Tetsuhiro ducks his head under the covers to hide his smile.

If they wake up in the morning tangled together it is entirely by accident.

* * *

The map they carry is ripped in three parts and is fading with age but it does well enough to guide them. With their pace and the most recent town sign, Souichi estimates it will take a few weeks to reach Nagasaki. Turns out their wandering though it had been aimless, had been leading them southwards anyway. It was enough to put a smile on Souichi's face and hope in their hearts.

* * *

Souichi almost stumbles over him where he is hidden behind a car. It's a boy, around Kanako's age. He's gargling at the mouth, his face is too pale, and his eyes are graying by the second.

Tetsuhiro has seen bodies litter the streets and pavement but none this…fresh. None that are still between life and this twisted state of death.

They don't speak, watching the boy struggle to breathe, his eyes rolling backwards. It's a silent decision.

Tetsuhiro swallows and his hand shakes as he raises the gun. But Souichi takes it from him. Tetsuhiro has never been more grateful to another human being.

Only two bullets remain.

* * *

Souichi likes reciting the elements of the periodic table as they walk.

Tetsuhiro prefers to listen.

* * *

They stray too close to Hiroshima. It isn't intentional of course what with cities being tightly packed together and too…populated. But the closer they get to their destination the more haphazardly Souichi leads them.

Looters used to be the real danger but here there are practically mobs of _them_. The stench really should have given it away.

They realize their mistake much too late as bodies crawl and hobble and drag themselves towards the fire they've built. Souichi does what he can with the katana while Tetsuhiro bats at them with a stick of fire. They advance anyway and the men have no choice but to abandon most of their supplies to make a run for it.

It is Souichi who clasps their hands together and pulls Tetsuhiro along until they fall to the ground in exhaustion.

Tetsuhiro gasps that he's sorry, over and over. He feels like it's the right thing to say. But Souichi is shaking his head, grief filling his face. They both think of the food they've just deserted, the medical supplies and water.

It hurts more to watch the hope fall out of Souichi's eyes.

* * *

They use the gun on a deer. It provides about a week's worth of food.

One left.

* * *

The rumor of the safe haven of Nagasaki turns out to be more widespread than either of them had ever imagined. They reach the shore about midday judging from the sun, dehydrated and tired, and entirely unprepared for the mass of people milling around the beach.

It's more people in one place, alive, than they've seen in months and it sends a spark of hope through them once more.

As they approach, similar states of exhaust and hunger are apparent in the faces of the families and people they pass. A man is shouting from atop a ferry and they push closer to listen.

"…only! Nagasaki cannot support all of you! We are looking for those that can help not take! Once we establish the health of those that are useful, we'll ferry you to Kyushu! No exceptions!"

Tetsuhiro frowns. Surely they cannot pick and choose who gets to live or die. He turns to Souichi to express his outrage to find he is already pushing his way through the crowd towards the ferry. He sighs and hurriedly follows.

"What kind of people are you looking for?" Souichi demands as he approaches one of the men standing guard at the dock. One of them eyes him, scrutinizing, before adjusting the rifle he carries. It's an obvious warning, one which Souichi seems to ignore.

"Doctors, medical professionals, anyone with experience in medicine."

Souichi nods while Tetsuhiro silently fumes. This is wrong. There were children he passed, infants and toddlers. What would happen to them?

"So it's true then. There is a cure." Souichi says and the guard narrows his eyes.

"Why do you ask?" He glances at Tetsuhiro. "If either one of you is sick you can't board. Rules are rules."

Souichi scoffs, crossing his arms. "We haven't been bitten. But we're both scientists and if you needed two professionals, two researchers that could help, then you'll let us through."

The guard glances between them in suspicion, obviously disliking Souichi but torn between letting them through or not. He asks them to wait and approaches another guard, speaking to him in low tones.

Tetsuhiro grabs at Souichi's arm to bring him closer. "Senpai, what are you thinking? We can't go when there are children and people who need to get across more than us. Their rules are disgusting and we shouldn't…" He whispers harshly but Souichi rips his arm away.

"So you want to stay on this fucking infested, rotting island when we have a chance to leave? This isn't about being morally right anymore. This is about survival. Do you really think the best choice here is to stay and rot alongside these people or go to Nagasaki and help in finding a cure so they can come and join later on?"

Tetsuhiro stares for a long while, the words making an impression on his emotional brain, and he nods sadly.

"I…I just wish…" He starts. Souichi is watching him with sympathy but the guard approaches them again before he can say anything more.

"You need to be checked by a doctor first but otherwise you can board."

The doctor confirms they are both dehydrated and too thin but points them in the direction a man handing out cups of water to the few passengers aboard.

Tetsuhiro cannot face the crowd below them as he sips at his.

The ferry departs a few hours later and it actually sickens Tetsuhiro with how much room there is. He can easily imagine families camped out on the deck or on the floors below.

But he holds his tongue. He isn't stupid and he knows the guns the guards carry are loaded. Either of them say the wrong thing and there is little chance they are leaving the ferry alive.

* * *

It feels like no time at all before they dock once more. This time the shores are empty save for a few people who beckon the passengers off and towards them. No one wants to go back the way they came.

They are summoned to a group on the right and the leader hands them both orange cards.

In case they get separated, she informs them, present the card to the guards at the border of Nagasaki and they'll let you through.

Tetsuhiro is drained and accepts the card dutifully, hoping to rest for the night. He assumes they'll depart as a group but once she finishes handing out the cards, the woman steps aside and leaves them. Their three other group members look to each other in confusion as well.

Apparently they have to make their own way to the city after all.

They decide collectively to sleep near the shore that night where there are more people and food.

There's one young man who shyly eyes Tetsuhiro and blushes beat red when he offers him his green scarf against the cold. Souichi scowls and points out he looks like a tomato.

Tetsuhiro has to fight not to giggle.

* * *

Traveling just seems easier when there are more people. Souichi meets a fellow researcher who manages to keep his attention for more than five minutes with talks of his most recent experiment. Tetsuhiro finds a companion in the older woman, a trained surgeon, who tells him every single ER story she can think of and then once those wear out, teases her husband who strings along beside them by retelling tales of their honeymoon in Europe. Their son trails behind and keeps a close eye on Tetsuhiro. He doesn't mind the attention, smiling at him every once in a while. He especially likes it that Souichi seems to go out of his way to get close to Tetsuhiro.

At one point Tetsuhiro compliments the young man's curly hair and Souichi soon after entwines their fingers together.

The older woman smiles at them.

* * *

Naturally, it all goes wrong.

One moment they're walking along, birds chirping up above, the woman laughing at her husband, and their feet crunching on the fallen leaves. The next, Tetsuhiro has tugged Souichi protectively behind him and they watch in horror as everyone scrambles; the woman is bitten in the stomach by a walker, her husband dives to catch her as she falls, their son trips and screams for her, and the researcher has already disappeared into the brush.

Souichi has the gun. He could take out one if he wanted to. One bullet remains. But the husband sets his jaw and yells for them to run just as he is bitten in the neck from behind. The son looks torn between staying and leaving, his eyes filled with grief and terror.

But they don't stay to see his decision.

* * *

There isn't a brawl or a desperate attempt to get away, no drawing of the gun or bashing of the head. He's clearing a space to roll out their sleeping bags by brushing the leaves and pointy sticks away when a rotting hand appears out of nowhere and he's thrown to the ground. He struggles of course but the deadweight on his stomach proves to be harder to kick off than he's calculated and he resorts to screaming in its face. The blackened teeth gnaw in his direction and he tries desperately to keep all exposed body parts away but it's becoming too difficult.

"Mori!"

Tetsuhiro looks around towards the sound, knowing it's a mistake even as he does it. Souichi's eyes are filled with horror as he feels teeth sink into his shoulder and yanks it away in alarm. It's too late.

"Oh god." Tetsuhiro whispers, the burn in his upper arm confirmation it had finally happened. After months of running, of careful planning and keeping one another safe, he'd gotten bitten just two days before they'd reach a safe place.

At least the words serve to spring Souichi into action and the body atop his stops struggling once its' head has been severed. Souichi helps push it off and gets him to his feet, staring with wide, horrified eyes at his shoulder. Tetsuhiro hugs it with his hand and pulls back to look. Sure enough, there's a shallow bite mark just enough to break the skin, tiny droplets of blood trickle down his arm.

Souichi falls back a few steps with the back of his hand to his mouth, shaking his head and looking like he may buckle under his weight at any moment.

There's a welling in his throat and his breathing is coming too fast but Tetsuhiro manages to push past it to nod his head, resigned. The memory of Souichi killing the boy, the intruder, the deer… If he is going to die, it isn't going to be by anyone else's hand.

"You'd better…" Tetsuhiro starts, his voice cracking. "The gun…would be best." His own words send a flash of dread through his chest.

Souichi isn't moving. He stares at Tetsuhiro's face and ignores his arm completely.

"You think I…you think I can fucking shoot… you idiot! You complete idiot, you bastard, why did you have to…!"

Souichi does drop to his knees then, his palms to his eyes and his entire upper body shakes. Tetsuhiro watches him in shock before joining him on the ground with a hand still covering the wound and the other traveling automatically to the back of Souichi's head. He touches him gently, lets him know he's sorry, that he didn't want to hurt Souichi, ever.

"I hate you. I hate this place. I hate you for making me so…" Souichi is crying openly into his uninjured shoulder and Tetsuhiro can do nothing but whisper in his ear.

Souichi clings to him.

"Don't go."

Tetsuhiro wishes he could comply.

* * *

The map the guide had given them was currently in the backpack of the older woman but there was no way they were making their way back.

So they push forward and stick by the shore, Souichi leads them without saying a word. Tetsuhiro tries to talk, tries to assure Souichi that at least he would be safe soon, but stops abruptly when Souichi screams at him to stop and wipes under his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

He doesn't want to die, he'll miss the sound of laughter and of rain, but mostly he'll miss Souichi. He's never believed in an afterlife and for the first time, the thought frightens him. Never seeing Souichi's eyes again or hearing his voice is a worse fate than the horrid bite on his shoulder.

It's been about ten hours judging by the sun on the horizon. They haven't come across a single soul and haven't stopped walking at all. Tetsuhiro is tired and thirsty. He tries not to think about how his bicep and clavicle are now burning.

He suggests stopping to rest and Souichi pins him with a glare.

"We're not stopping." He states firmly. Tetsuhiro sighs and slows to a halt. Souichi turns slowly; he tries to look threatening but Tetsuhiro can clearly see he's scared.

"Senpai, it's no use wearing ourselves out like this. Let's rest for a few hours and then we can continue."

Souichi shakes his head and looks to the ground, his hand gripping the gun too tightly.

"You act like you don't even care." Souichi grumbles, his face angry and miserable.

"Of…of course I care. I'm just worried about _you_. When I…when I turn…" He imagines himself with gray, dead eyes and blood thirsty teeth and shivers. "I don't want to become one of those mindless creatures Souichi. Please. If I ever hurt you…" He can't continue. They hadn't talked about it yet but it was always there in the back of their minds. If it came to it…could Souichi…

"We'll get there in time. We will! We just have to keep going." Souichi says harshly, looking like he wants to say more but is desperately holding his tongue. Tetsuhiro, for the first time, wishes Souichi didn't feel anything towards him. Seeing him in pain, pain that he has caused, hurts.

"Alright, Souichi."

When Tetsuhiro is certain he can't take another step, Souichi resigns to let them sleep. They lay out the sleeping bags next to one another under a canopy of trees. Tetsuhiro makes sure the weapons are within Souichi's reach.

* * *

The fever sets in as the sun rises. At first it feels like a minor flu, then he's certain someone has doused him in boiling water and finished him off with a dip in an icy river. He begins to shake and isn't sure if he uses his voice to wake Souichi or if he had been awoken by his own trembling muscles.

Souichi looks worried by what he sees in his face. He asks if there's something he can do, anything, should they get up and keep going?

Tetsuhiro shakes his head, content to lay here and stare up at Souichi's beautiful face.

There's a sudden rush of cool air and then Souichi is on top of him, zipping the sleeping bag around them. He's sure this is a fever induced hallucination. The arms around his back feel real though and the face pressed into his neck is wet with tears.

* * *

The one day mark passes. The shaking has stopped and his temperature seems to have settled on mildly warm. Souichi stares at him from his place settled on his chest. He asks if there's anything he wants.

There's silent permission in his tone and Tetsuhiro takes it.

Though his energy is sapped, he manages to take Souichi's face in his hands and kiss him with everything he has.

Souichi unzips the sleeping bag around them, breathing shallow and face flushing, so that he can take his weight off of Tetsuhiro's prostrate form. He doesn't protest when Tetsuhiro reaches up and tangles his hand in the blonde hair, tugging him down again to connect their lips.

Tetsuhiro would love to sink into him, love to have Souichi's marks all over his back. But he can do nothing but kiss every part he can reach. He groans when their lower bodies touch accidentally and he can't help feeling a flash of surprise at what he feels.

Souichi looks self-conscious but only a little and bites his lip as he removes Tetsuhiro's jeans and then his own. Tetsuhiro kisses the embarrassment off of his face and gasps as he feels a hand grip them both and move. Souichi hides his face in his neck. Their breathing increases and mixes and Tetsuhiro feels dizzy and wonderful.

There's a moan in his ear and Tetsuhiro has to see. If this is the last time…so he asks Souichi to turn his head. Please.

Eyes filled with tears meet his and they meet in the middle.

* * *

The world grays in his vision. Souichi's blonde hair becomes lackluster and dull. The trees are no longer green. He can't even see the red of the blood on his arm.

When Souichi comments about how pale he's become, he can do nothing but take his word for it.

* * *

"One more hour."

They determine it's about midday.

"It must be soon."

They turn a corner to find another row of trees.

"I remember it being by the ocean."

The sea line goes on for miles.

"Tetsuhiro?"

He faints.

* * *

Souichi is reciting the periodic table again.

Tetsuhiro notices he skips Thallium and opens his mouth to correct him.

His tongue is too swollen to speak.

* * *

He's being carried now. Souichi is stronger than he appears but after a few hours he can feel his weight begin to dip.

Though his mouth feels like lead, he finds he can still whisper.

"M' sorry."

Souichi flinches, like he hadn't expected him to speak at all. He adjusts his weight some more.

"Damn right. You're really heavy." Tetsuhiro lips try to smile but they're so cracked and dry it hurts.

"You'll be okay Souichi." He sighs and closes his eyes. "Love you." He's being shaken viciously awake and Souichi's worried face blurs in his vision. He thinks he's on the ground now.

"Don't you dare, don't you fucking dare die on me yet. We're close I know it!" Souichi doesn't look like he believes the words himself and Tetsuhiro smiles for him even if his lips bleed because of it.

"So tired."

"I…I know. Me too. But stay awake, just for a few more minutes please. Tetsuhiro!" He opens his eyes even when his entire body protests it because Souichi sounds so broken and he can't fix it.

His skin feels numb though he's sure he can feel the tears that drip from Souichi's eyes onto his cheeks. He wants to wipe them away but he can't feel his arms anymore.

"Don't cry." He begs.

"I'll cry if I fucking want to." Souichi chokes out, wiping haphazardly at his face. "Please don't go."

He wishes he could keep his eyes open, Souichi wants him to, but he can't anymore. There's a wet kiss placed on his lips.

"I'll miss you." He breathes.

There's screaming and desperate yells and footsteps but his world is reduced to the black behind his eyelids. A gunshot sounds far too close to him.

He's sure he's died when he hears Souichi admit he loves him.

* * *

Death was never meant to be so loud and…warm.

* * *

The element Thallium drums in his ear.

* * *

The world isn't grey when he opens his eyes.

"I told you not to die on me idiot."

Tetsuhiro smiles, blonde hair now within his reach.

"I didn't," his throat aches and the words are rough but they're there.

There's no answer.

When a hand entwines with his, it's response enough.


End file.
